


Pain That Resonates

by PlayerOneMell



Series: Echoing Words [8]
Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst ahead, Anxiety, BE MORE ANGST, Blood, Bruises, Christine drives a punch bug, Crying, Cutting, Danger, Depression, Lots of Angst, M/M, MUCH ANGST AHEAD, Nightmares, Platonic Apocalypse Play, Platonic Pins N Patches, Platonic Stagedorks - Freeform, Screaming, There is no fluff in this one, Torture, ZERO FLUFF AHEAD, angst angst, boyf riends - Freeform, in the middle of the night, much gay, richjake, theres abuse in this one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 18:23:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayerOneMell/pseuds/PlayerOneMell
Summary: He knows that Jackson can be faster than him, but Michael has a slight advantage. Michael’s fit, he’s terrified, and he’s taller than his older brother. Michael is trying to remember how this all started as the loud thrumming of his footsteps rings in his ears. His heart continues to soar and race as recalls exactly why this is all happening.





	Pain That Resonates

Heart beating out of his chest as he races down the street, praying that whatever kind of divine power might be up there will save him. His footsteps echo off the damp pavement of the road that leads him home. However, this place is no home to him. It has turned into the nightmare he now remembers it as. How could things go back to the way they were so quickly.

 

“Michael George Mell! You can’t run forever!”

 

The mocking, yet frightening, boom of Jackson’s voice rings out. Michael continues to sprint down the street. He never thought he could sprint, but it suddenly appears to him that he can indeed sprint. He’s sure his legs will be in pain later, perhaps shin splints from how hard he is running. He keeps running in the pouring rain to escape his brother if he can.

 

He knows that Jackson can be faster than him, but Michael has a slight advantage. Michael’s fit, he’s terrified, and he’s taller than his older brother. Michael is trying to remember how this all started as the loud thrumming of his footsteps rings in his ears. His heart continues to soar and race as recalls exactly why this is all happening.

 

Michael has been having nightmares about what happened with Rich just outside the school track. It was awful. The images play through his mind as if it were a movie. The fire, Rich’s bright green eyes, Jeremy screaming for him, Jake being oddly calm. Why was Jake so calm?

 

Michael doesn’t have the time to think about this as he races into his house and up the stairs, not tripping once. Michael never really goes upstairs because his room is in the basement. He can hear his brother coming for him and rushes into the bathroom. Why is it that he always hides in bathrooms?

 

He locks the door in a rush and thinks back to the other time he hid in a bathroom. He’s trying not to but the memories are coming faster than the wind during a storm. It seems that Michael’s not fine at all, and that will soon become apparent. He can’t hide from Jackson forever. It’s four in the morning, it’s raining, and it’s dark. Michael has to go to school, but at this rate? He’s going to school with bruises down his back. He fears for his life now.

 

Why is Michael home alone with Jackson, again? His mothers had to go on a business trip. His moms feared to leave him home alone because of his mental condition. Michael wonders how his moms don’t know what Jackson does to him. Is it not obvious? Where else would the bruises and cuts and scars come from? Well, the scars are really Michael’s fault. Michael blames the SQUIP.

 

“Mike, open up!”

“Don’t call me Mike!” Michael responds, squeaking as his brother loudly knocks on the door. The banging reminds him of Jake’s Halloween party.

“There’s gotta be a key around here somewhere.”

 

Michael is looking around for an escape. There has to be an escape somewhere around the bathroom. Right? There has to be something? Michael’s eyes are glancing around the room with haste. What if Jackson gets inside? His eyes find the only haven - an open window. He hears the banging come again and escapes through the window, jumping possible to his doom.

 

There’s slight pain that shoot through Michael’s legs; however, the boy keeps on running. He knows staying at home is pointless at this point, and he’s hoping Jackson won’t bother him. Michael knows he can’t run to Jeremy’s house because it is expected that he would run there. Michael can’t put Jeremy in danger. Where could he run? He’s thinking about it, but his feet are taking him places on their own. He wonders where to, but his subconscious knows.

 

He races down the street and past the richer neighborhoods of New Jersey where Brooke, Rich, Jenna, and Chloe live. Michael continues to sprint and notices he is headed for the poorer parts of town. He knows where his feet are taking him and almost wants to slam on the brakes. The fear coursing through his veins is telling him to keep going. He needs safety, even if it is only for a few minutes. Besides, he knows his friend would be awake at this time anyhow. Right? He is hoping.

 

It’s not like Michael has lots of hope inside of him. When the opportunity comes, he takes whatever hope he has and uses it. Michael had lost hope when he was sent away from home and came back with nothing new. There was no magical cure for the monster of depression inside of his head. He would never say he has it because he doesn’t want to acknowledge that it is there. He is medically diagnosed now and takes medication. He just won’t say he has it, but that might be giving it more power. He is never going to get over it if he won’t acknowledge that it is there. It will simply dwell in his mind forever, and he just needs to be brave enough to face it. He know he isn’t ready, but things will only get worse with time. He’s not ready to face it, but he knows he is about to face something else when he reaches an old apartment door.

 

There’s a gentle knock and the door swings open to see a very stressed out Jake Dillinger. He looks less than pleased to see Michael but notices how out of breath he is and that there’s something wrong and lets him in.

 

“Jake, I’m so so so so so sorry. I wouldn’t have come here if it weren’t my only option.” Michael has regained his breath a bit and realizes how much his legs hurt.  

“It’s whatever, Mell.” Jake mumbles. “What happened?”

“Well I had a nightmare with the Rich thing in the field and I’m still very, very, very, **very** _,_ sorry about all of that still. I hope you can forgive me and I know it’s touchy subject. I’m here and I’m sorry. I had a nightmare and it annoyed my brother, Jackson, and he chased me around the neighborhood and I ran for my life. I had no choice, otherwise he would probably beat my ass into oblivion and I want my moms to come home. I love my moms so much and they care about me. It’s amazing and I am happy to have them. It’s just… I got scared and I jumped out a window and without thinking I ran here because I know he wouldn’t follow me all the way here. I couldn’t put Jeremy in danger and everyone else lives too close… so I’m here, and my legs are **killing** me!” Michael sighs, he’s exhausted.

 

Jake listens to the entire rant reluctantly. He didn’t talk to Michael for a day after what happened to Rich; however, he came to his senses and realized it wasn’t Michael’s fault that Rich nearly died in the field. Jake is happy knowing Rich is being taken care of at a hospital. Although, Jake wishes that Rich were here with him. Jake lives in a small one bedroom apartment. He sleeps on a mattress, and his little sister is there too. Jake works a lot so he does homework at night, it’s why he’s awake. Rich lives there sometimes.

 

Michael feels awful for being there, in Jake’s apartment. It reminds him of he’s done. Yes, it was an accident, but he feels crushed by it all. Michael nearly murdered one of his friends. How could this happen? He is sure there was something going on with Rich’s SQUIP, and Rich has had it for a very long time. Michael just hates the feeling and wants to cut right through it. Cut. He wants to cut. He knows he can’t in this moment, but he knows that what he wants to do. He hasn’t been back for long, and he knows it has been months. Maybe too many months.

 

He knows it’s been since he left. He couldn’t cut while he was away, and didn’t bother trying. He just would’ve been away for longer. He wanted to be back at home and now he is. Now he wants to cut once again. It’s wrong and he knows it. He is suddenly wishing he had run to his boyfriend’s house instead.

 

“Michael, you look sick. Look, forget about Rich for a moment. I’m sure he’s gonna be alright.”

“You are?”

“I am.” Jake gives a small nod. “Why don’t you sit down, alright? Your legs seem hurt. I’ll look into them and let me call Jeremy to come pick you up.”

“Oh, it’s alright.” Michael mumbles, but still sits down.

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Jake exits the room for a moment to go to the bathroom, the only closed room in the apartment, to look for some bandages and call Jeremy. Jake hopes that Michael won’t have to stay here long. He’s rather embarrassed of where he lives. He couldn’t believe that Michael isn’t laughing at him right now. Jake used to live in a big beautiful house and now he lives in an old apartment.

 

As the call is going through space to get to Jeremy’s telephone, Jake is noticing that it has been ringing for a rather long time. He wonders if it is too late in the night, or rather early in the morning, to be calling Jeremy. After all, most people would be asleep at this time. Eventually, the phone is answer.

 

“Yeah, Jake? What’s up?” Jeremy is whispering and he appears to have a shaky tone in his voice.

 

Jake is curious as to why Jeremy sounds so scared, and why he picked up. It is very late. However, Jeremy is in a rather bad situation. As Michael predicted, his brother would go looking for him at Jeremy’s house, and that is exactly what is happening. Jeremy knows that Jackson is bad news and is trying to hide from him. Jackson has never laid a hand on Jeremy before but that doesn’t mean he won’t now. It terrifies Jeremy, and it is just rattling his bones.

 

“Are you okay? That’s not the point. Michael’s here and something bad is going on and I’m worried.”

“I’m sorry, Jake.” Jeremy whispers in response.

“Why?”

“I know you’re under a lot of stress and Michael has a lot going on.You shouldn’t have to deal with it.”

“Jeremy are you hiding from someone?” Jake asks, concerned “You and Michael can both seek asylum at my place if you need to. It might be safer.”

“I’m fine.”

“Who are you hiding from?”

 

Michael can hear Jakes voice. It is a small apartment after all. Michael is worried when he hears Jake ask that question. Michael is wondering if Jackson did end up going to Jeremy’s house to look for him, or worse hurt Jeremy. Michael feels the sinking feeling reach him and his anxiety grab hold of him tightly.

 

“No one.” Jeremy is almost silent.

“No one?”

“It’s not important. I just-” Jeremy is cut off the phone call hangs up.

“Jeremy? Jeremy? Hello?” Jake says, almost panicking.

 

Michael hears this and it only makes his panic rise. His heart begins to race. He knows Jackson is inside of the Heere household and is possibly hurting Jeremy. How could he let this happen? This is exactly what he was trying to avoid. Perhaps some things are just unavoidable.

 

Jake sighs and finishes getting some bandages for the anxious boy who’s sitting down. He sits with Michael and hopes that Jeremy is going to be okay. Jake is always certain everything will be fine, and that doesn’t change at all in this situation. Michael rolls up his pants legs. Jake helps him out with the injuries. Jake has limited knowledge of medical things, but he’s been studying. He wants to go into the medical field when he’s older.

 

Anyhow, over the Heere house there’s lots of screaming. Jeremy is terrified and his eyelids are clenched shut. He doesn’t want to look at Jackson. Jeremy is pinned against the floor, squirming as Jackson is holding his wrists down against the floor, he feels like he’s being tortured. That’s because he is. Jackson is not showing mercy as he hurts the twink of a boy.

 

“Where’s my brother?”

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.”

 

Jeremy is shaking his head and hot tears are pounding down his face. He is terrified about what Jackson could do to him. Michael’s strong and doesn’t ever fight his brother back. Jeremy wonders how he can stand it. Jeremy just knows that he himself is a twig and has no chance of fighting Jackson if Jackson can take down Michael. It might even be possible that Jackson can take down Jake.

 

“Who were you on the phone with?” Jackson’s giro tightened on Jeremy. “Come on little fairy, I know you know the answer. Was it Mike?”

“No. No. It wasn’t. I don’t know where he is.” Jeremy sobs.

“Goddamnit, he jumped out a window and just what? Disappeared.” Jackson growls angrily, letting go of Jeremy and standing.

“He jumped out a window?” Jeremy sits up.

Jackson kicks him back down, “I didn’t say you could get up!” He shouts. “Yes, my fag of a brother jumped out a fucking window like the pussy he is.”

“He’s not a… a…” Jeremy doesn’t say that word out of respect.

“Awe, little fairy can’t say it. I’m done with you.” Jackson comments, giving Jeremy one last kick before leaving the house.

 

Jeremy winces and starts screaming and crying as soon as he hears the front door shut. He couldn’t believe Jackson is insane enough to come after him! Jeremy’s trembling and terrified. How could Michael deal with this all the time? He’s not sure and he coughs up some blood before he moves at all. His head is full of a throbbing rhythm of pain, and his ribs feel the same. He’s sure he’s covered in bruises but it’s he too scared to look. He rolls back over to his closet and gets on his phone. He has to get to Michael. This is serious.

 

The beat up, pale, coughing up blood, crying teenage boy picks up his phone and decides to call Christine. Jeremy knows that he can’t drive himself and knows Christine is the one would be willing to. Christine has been super concerned about Michael. They’ve been hanging out a bit more now that he’s back home. It gives Jeremy a chance deal with his own stuff and not be worrying about him because Jeremy knows Christine would take care of Michael if something came up.

 

“Jeremy? Is something wrong?” Christine asks, yawning.

 

It seems to have slipped Jeremy’s mind that it’s late in the night, but basically early morning. He feels mad for waking Christine, but this is an urgent matter after all. He needs to talk to Michael about Jackson because this is getting out of hand. He coughs again before he can respond to Christine.

 

“Yes, very wrong. Can you drive?”

“Of course! Jeremy, what happened?” Christine gets out of bed and searches for her car keys, “Please tell me that Mikey’s okay.”

“Chris, I’m gonna be honest, I h-have no idea.” Jeremy sighs. “I just know he’s at Jake’s apartment right n-now.”

“Oh thank god! I thought you were about to tell me that he was back in the hospital. He hasn’t been back for too long! You had me worried sick for a moment. Although, I’m still concerned. Isn’t Jake a little bit ticked with Mikey?”

Jeremy nods, but realizes Christine can’t see him, “Yeah, a bit. Cause of Rich.”

“Right, right, right. Jake isn’t one to hold grudges. I’m sure he’s taking good care of Michael if he needs it.”

“I hope so…” Jeremy mumbles, concern carrying in his voice.

 

In fact, Jake is taking care of Michael. Jake knows that what happened with Rich was an accident, and Michael’s the one who needs help right now. Jake is holding one of Michael’s hands and guiding him through a breathing exercise to calm his anxiety and hopefully melt his fears away. Jake knows Michael is struggling.

 

“Jake, I can’t do this. I wanna cut.”

“Come on, Michael. It’s okay. Think about Jeremy.” Jake says calmly, trying to be reasonable with Michael.

“I am. I am thinking about Jeremy. Jeremy’s probably hurt and I’m not there. I’m not there to help him and he’s always there to help me.”

“Michael, it’s okay. Don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m here. Jeremy’s on his way I’m sure.” Jake is trying to reassure Michael.

“My legs hurt.” He mumbles under his breath.

“I know, bro. You did something to them when you jumped out that window. I promise to take you to a doctor. Or Jeremy will. Jeremy’s on his way. It’ll be okay soon.”

 

Jake doesn’t know if Jeremy is on his way, but he is. Jeremy’s currently waiting for Christine to arrive. Jeremy has slipped on his converse low tops that have a video game design on it. Him and Michael got matching converse and they are Jeremy’s favorite shoe. His right shoe says ‘Player Two’ on the side. Michael has matching high tops and his left shoe says ‘Player One’ on the side. Jeremy looks cute, and less cliche than matching shirts or sweaters.

 

Christine pulls up in her little punch bug car and she appears to be in pajamas, as is Jeremy. Christine is wearing a wicked t-shirt, Hamilton pants, and Dear Evan Hansen socks. Jeremy can’t help but notice that her hair looks great for just waking up. Jeremy knows he’s a mess and he’s just wearing some video game pajamas that have old arcade cabinets on them. He hears Christine gasp softly and get out of her car.

 

“Oh my goodness, Jeremy who did this to you?” She says concerned but let’s out a small huff as she crosses her arms. “I will not hesitate hurt them.”

“Chrissy, don’t worry about it.” Jeremy says, wrapping his arms around himself. “I need to get to Michael. This is really important.”

“His brother.”

“What?”

“It was Jackson, wasn’t it? Michael has recently opened up about him when we were hanging out yesterday… was it?”

Jeremy nods, “He’s never come after me before. He’s after Michael. He wants to find M-Michael… Chris, I think this has gone too far.”

“Don’t his mothers know?”

“That’s what he says.” Jeremy sighs. “I wanna go with him to talk to his moms.”

 

Christine nods in understanding, and decides not to ask any other questions for the moment. She needs to get Jeremy over to Jake’s apartment which is in the poor part of town. Nothing would stop Christine, and there shouldn’t be much traffic considering what time it is. She is sure she can get Jeremy over there in a jiffy.

 

Jeremy walks slowly over to Christine's car and gets into the small bug of a car. It’s bright yellow. Jeremy thinks this car is absolutely perfect for Christine and just seems to fit her. It’s a nice little car and has an air freshener on the vent. Jeremy has been in this car once before, and he forgets how clean and welcoming it is. The smell is so different from the PT Cruiser that Michael drives. Michael’s car is a bit messier, it smells of weed, slushies, and just Michael. Jeremy is enjoying the cleanliness of the bug, but he does love the Cruiser. He has to. Michael did marry the car after all.

 

“Jeremy?” Christine asks, while pulling out of the driveway. “Do you wanna listen to any music?”

 

The question reminds Jeremy of Michael as well. Michael’s car is never silent. Michael will always be playing music or humming a tune. Jeremy isn’t sure if he wants music right now. He doesn’t want tunes of any kind. He just wants his boyfriend. Is that so wrong?

 

“No thanks, Chris.”

“Jeremy, do you need to talk?”

Jeremy shakes his head, “I just need to get to Mikey.”

“Try to sit back and relax, okay?”

 

Jeremy nods and tries to do so. All he can think about Michael and how out of hand Jackson has gotten. The abuse for Jackson has to have some kind of affect on Michael. Depression doesn’t come from nothing. At least, Jeremy doesn’t think so. Jeremy also knows the SQUIP situation can’t be the only issue that played a part in hurting Michael. His brother must have had something to do with it, right? After all, the words in Michael’s arms are usually names his brother calls them. Jeremy is thankful that those are fading because Michael never made the cuts deep in his arm; just the ones with the words are shallow. Jeremy is not sure if Michael has ever made a truly deep cut in his skin.

 

Before Jeremy knew it, Christine is racing to get over to Jake’s apartment. Christine isn’t saying a word to respect Jeremy’s silent and whatever thoughts might be going on his head. Christine is glad to know that Jeremy is going to do something about Jackson. Christine knew that she would’ve done something too, and she did want to talk to Jeremy about it. She’s pretty sure now would be an awful time to bring it up. It seems like a very sensitive topic for the moment. Although, abuse is always a sensitive topic.

 

Jake can hear cars racing by and he is hoping that one of them is carrying Jeremy. Michael seems slightly calmer and Jake is trying to do what he can for Michael’s legs. He doesn’t have much, and he doesn’t have any ice. He places a cold washcloth on each of Michael’s legs, but they don’t seem to be swelling. He decides to trade them out for hotter washcloths to apply heat to his injuries. Michael is biting his own lip because he’s not a fan of all the pain he is experiencing in this moment.

 

Christine parks the car and Jeremy looks up at the old apartment building in front of him. Jeremy has never been to Jake’s place, and had no idea he lived like this. Jeremy is assuming that Jake pretty much lives in poverty. Couldn’t something be done? He would make sure to bring that up at another time.

 

“Thanks for driving me, Chrissy.”

“Need me to walk you in?” Christine asks, looking at Jeremy who’s standing outside her car.

“I’m good.”

“Third floor up. You’ll hear him. I’m sure that him and Michael are talking.” Christine tells Jeremy.

“Thank you.”

“Any time.”

 

Jake is taking care of Michael and the small bruises he has. Michael doesn’t look like he’s in bad condition, but jumping out the window did something to his legs. Jake isn’t sure what quite yet. He just knows Michael is in a lot of pain.

 

“Jake is there anything else you can do about this?”

“I don’t think so.” Jake comments. “You need a real doctor, for sure.”

“It hurts a lot.” Michael says quietly, he’s exhausted.

“It’ll be okay.” Jake sighs.

 

A few moments later there is a knock heard at the door. Jake gets up and he hopes that it’s Jeremy. Michael wants to spring up just at the thought that it is Jeremy. He wants his boy to be with him so badly right now. Jake opens the door, and it is in fact Jeremy Heere who is at the door, all bloody and bruised. Tears prick Michael’s eyes.

 

“Hey, Jake.”

Jake moves aside, and points to Michael who’s sitting on the floor with washcloths on his legs, “Right over there, broski.”

 

Jeremy sees Michael and runs quickly over to him. It isn’t a far distance considering the apartment is so small. Jeremy wraps his arms around Michael and Michael hugs him back. He kisses Jeremy’s head.

 

“I was so worried about you. Did he do this to you? Jeremy what the hell happened? What can I do for you? Talk to me, please.” Michael says quickly.

 

Jeremy swallows all his feelings for the moment. He isn’t ready to tell Michael about what has happened quite yet. Jeremy came here for a reason. He knows he badly wants to kiss Michael’s lips and cry with him and tell him all that has happened; however, Jeremy knows he has to get right to his point, or he will forget about it all together. The next sentence Jeremy speaks sends a plummeting feeling through Michael’s stomach.

 

“I need to talk to your moms about Jackson with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, sorry this too so long. I’m not sure I like how I wrote the ending of this one.  
> I hope you guys liked it! It took me awhile to write and I’m starting on the next part soon. Tell me what you thought. It means a lot to me that you’re reading my stuff. Sorry this one had no fluff. Thank you for reading!!!!


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